Tuesday, March 17, 2009
dobare madar buzorg rakht e no suzan zade
tokhm e murghe rangi am az qafas dar aumade
i am transported to my hostel room where i would listen to mansoor for hours together rewinding certain songs again and again...just lying on my cot letting mansoor take me to a different plane
aks man barakse toh aasheqtarine
chun hanoozam aashique toh nazneene
alahi har ki mano bi toh bebine
mesle man be khaqe dil tangi beshine
qalabe man aasheqtarine
farqe man ba toh hamine
mansoor is no sufi or classical singer..he sings songs of pure longing and love but the words are simple yet profound and his voice seems to carry so much pain...probably his style ...but has given and still gives me immense pleasure
Sunday, March 15, 2009
sometimes i wonder at the complicated and convoluted world around me..i wonder is simplicity such a difficult quality to adopt...wouldn't it help make things better if we kept them simple and straight forward..but history is witness to the convulted logic that human kind has been following since ages...few days back we were watching a dramatisation of pre 9/11 incident. there was this young guy who probably flew one of the fateful planes that day...prima facie he had everything he could wish for..a rich family, a wonderful car and a sexy girlfriend...how could such a guy feel so wronged that he risked everything...what kind of indoctrination does it take to involve such people..i wonder
Saturday, March 7, 2009
usually i am asleep by this time but there are times when sleep refuses to nestle in my eyes..i am so charged with energy that i think i can take the whole world on...these are the nights when i manage to read and write in few hours what usually takes me days of effort. eyes glide over pages devoring them one by one and going to the next book or my pen keeps scribbling something or the other on my notebooks..hardly stopping to give a second look to what i have written..i leave it for later....when i am in a saner condition..i write ..without giving a thought to the content...to the form..sometimes write pages in mirror language...my code language since school days...these are the times when i write to hearts content and write just for myself without bothering how it sounds.......
Thursday, March 5, 2009
there are some days when you just start on the wrong foot..there are signals flashed which unfortunately our minds used to rational thought refuse to acknowledge..we trash them, don't understand their implication and go on but somewhere deep in our unconcious we know things aren't right...some wise old man sitting deep in our heart tries to advise us ..the voice seems to be coming from a deep deep chasm..most of the times we ignore it as a voice of senility...what age of reason termed as superstitions probably have a logic now completely lost to us...knowingly or unknowingly we believe we fear and at times give a benefit of doubt to various beliefs....
how wonderful it would be if we could hear these multiple inner voices more often..and probably pay more heed to them..afterall theory of intution and all meditational techniques claim to make us reach that stage...but wouldn't it be maddening to listen to various and at times contradictory voices coming from within...how would we know which voice to follow....is there some kind of rivalry between these voices...do like us they also harbor a small ego which gets hurt too...guess i am finally going mad and there will lie the road to freedom........
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
ponderings
reading jung in the auto was exciting..the bumpy ride also seem to echo his turbulent life..the connection between alchemy, yoga and the deep hidden self, the various neorosis he suffered and his major break from freud unfolded page by page...i devoured it but suddenly had to get down as auto wallah had to fill gas...with jung in my hand i got down and waited thinking about all the artists and writers who were propelled by some unknown force..while some managed to channelise the immense energy others failing to do so suffered from mental break downs...but jung was amazing...even while going through a break down he kept recording his feelings and hallucinations for future......wonder what insight he must have had in the unconcious...aaah there is so much to read..can't do justice to all and to myself my curiousity in one life time....
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
easy n available
Friday, February 6, 2009
ponderings
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
How often do we realise that our 'self' is a conglomeration of so many varied gross and subtle substances which are frequently fighting each other...so isn’t self contradiction the most natural outcome of such a process...what is conclusiveness but an expression of partial knowledge…here I am reminded of a couplet by Kaifi
“jisko khabar nahi use josh o kharosh hai
jo pa gaya hai raaz gum hai khamoosh hai”
Unfortunately times are such or rather times have always been such that louder you proclaim the more credible you sound…subtleness has no place in the system…but does it really need a place in this system…I wonder, as I often do, but get absolutely no answers….probably there are no answers..its only meant to be experienced….the inability to express certain thoughts in words irritates me..somehow words don’t seem enough to express the actual feel of the thoughts…its restricted by my english vocabulary ,by the form and syntax of the language itself, by the need to give it a readable format and so on and so forth….writing is limiting and so is painting..i have many a times heard artists complaining that what has come out on their canvas is not exactly what they thought…it’s definitely a compromise and all of us have to make it to lend a concrete shape to our ideas……..
Seriously feel this reading should lead somewhere..somewhere it all should connect..Its not just enough to understand and quote from a certain text or a book. Books have to be internalized..Though I have no clue how one does it and I guess subconsciously some impact definitely is made but how does one consciously internalize the knowledge and ideas presented in a text?